In a recent conversation with Nicole Sammut, we took a deep dive into a topic that is often overlooked in discussions about work and career: the invisible moments of shifting workplace identity - including layoffs and job loss. These are the transitions that rarely receive the ceremonies or recognition given to more visible milestones (eg: retirement), yet they are deeply impactful and filled with profound emotions that deserve acknowledgment and ritual space.
The Power of Naming the Invisible
Nicole highlighted how big workplace shifts, like layoffs and job loss often happen without much acknowledgment from the group ie: the community one has worked with for 5, 10, 15+ years. It’s so different from the way we celebrate promotions or retirements with parties and gifts. Layoffs and quiet goodbyes happen in silence, and people are left to deal with all sorts of complicated feelings like shame, grief, anxiety, even survivor’s guilt - on their own.
Nicole pointed out how these invisible moments are often tied up with shame, both on a personal level and for the organization. If we don’t talk about it, that shame just sits there and can turn into stagnation or even depression. She shared how important it is to create some kind of “container”, like a ritual or a safe space—where we can name our feelings and move through those tough emotions, instead of letting them build up.
"When we look at the invisible moments, those are often associated with shame. And we don't get to either our shame or the shame of the organization or however our ability is to frame that, make sense of it, right?... These rituals are still important for them to do either individually on their own or in witness with someone else, a partner perhaps, a best friend, a sibling, right? To help support them and witness what they are going through in terms of what they are feeling because oftentimes there's a lot more underneath." — Nicole Sammut (Listen here: Episode 7)
Community Rituals: Healing Together*
We don’t work in a vacuum and so we don’t go through these feelings in isolation. Nicole shared a personal anecdote regarding the power of moving from isolation to community. Nicole became a member of “Le Refusé,” a group that came together after shocking layoffs in her department. They started meeting in pubs around Ottawa to talk about what they missed about their jobs—and what they were happy to leave behind. Eventually, these meetups turned into cozy dinners at each other’s homes. These gatherings created a safe space (container) and helped everyone process what they’d gone through - while creating community.
Work is such a big part of our self-identity — it takes up so much of our lives. When things change, whether it’s something to celebrate or something painful, rituals help us honor all the feelings that come up, give us space to heal, and help us feel more grounded. Rituals don’t magically fix everything, but they do help us face what we’re feeling and move forward with intention.
